On this blog, Thursdays are when we get AUTHENTIC around here  (hence, the previous “Authentic Thursday” posts).  And this week we’re doing a quick LOVE Series in light of Valentines Day.  So, this is a mash-up of sorts… and quite the doozy, I might add.

 

Here’s the mash-up… I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster.

Yesterday at work we learned of the passing of a colleague who lost his battle to prostate cancer this week.  And today I am overcome with proud emotion for friends who have worked HARD on their musical dream for the past 10+ years … and they just recently announced some MAJOR news on that front!!!

 

Sometimes the emotion of all that life entails gets the best of me…  the up and down of joy, pain, excitement, devastation of a life’s dream, hope, celebration, … and lastly, just waiting…

The past 6 months have been this way… quite the emotional roller coaster.

For my own benefit (to show  myself I was not just an emotional wreck without reason), I decided to write down some of those ups and downs.  And the list just kept growing.

To give you a glimpse of those ups and downs… here are some examples, but in no particular order…

• Making Thanksgiving dinner with my Gramma Helen and being together with the Oregon family at Thanksgiving.  (So very meaningful to me.)
• Walking alongside a friend who was going through a divorce.
• Celebrating daily with a friend recovering from leukemia, on the fighting side of a bone marrow transplant.
• Hearing from an old friend, as he was going through his Step 4 and needed to make amends.
• Celebrating HUGE professional achievements with both friends and co-workers.
• Reconnecting with a real life dream of my own.
• Celebrating the reality of a long-time dream with a friend, walking shoulder to shoulder with her.
• Questioning God when dealing with the life lessons He decided to send my way.
• Following through on a journey of forgiveness which has given me so much freedom.
• Saying unexpected goodbyes to family friends who left this earth at much too young of an age.
• Followed by standing with our friends, relatives of those individuals, as they grieve.
• Reconnecting with lifetime friends and surprisingly finding a new friendship through it.
• Taking a ride down an unexpected path that has brought so much joy in my life.
• Questioning why I am where I am when I am.
• Dealing with questions and heartbreak as we walk side-by-side with a dear friend whose gut-wrenching pain is too much for him to be expected to carry on his own…

Sometimes it’s just all too much… and I stand in the shower and cry, the ugly cry that no one else gets to see… gasping for air and snorting up a lung.

And asking God WHY … and knowing that He’ll tell me when it’s the right time.  Knowing He’ll shine a light on the reason when the light is needed.  And still… knowing it’s ok to ask WHY just to ask.  Just to remind Him (like He needs reminding) that I’m still going to ask WHY, cry out WHY, even when He’s not ready to show me… even when His answer is, “Just wait… but don’t forget, I’m right here.  Call on me anytime you need.”  He hears us.  He shows us He loves us.

And I am reminded that He made the good along with the bad.  (Ecclesiastes 7:14a)

And I stand overwhelmed by His timing, His grace, His love, His care and every other tiny thing He gives.  He knows exactly what I need to get through … through each up and down.

Which brings me to why this fits into the 2015 LOVE Series…

My Heavenly Father loves me… His daughter… so much that He gives me exactly what I need to get through each day.  No more.  No less.  

And the cry-fest in the shower then takes a sharp turn… And I curl up stand there, hot steam filling the room and His love filling my heart and gasp for air because His love is so overwhelming…

And I leave you with this, a song by Big Daddy Weave:  Overwhelmed

(Disclaimer:  Have the tissue handy.)

 

“Overwhelmed”

I see the work of Your Hands

Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice

All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

Captivated by Your beauty

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross

Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God

All that You’ve done is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

In the Glory of Your Presence

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

 

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful

Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful

You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful

Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful

You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious

Oh God, there is no one more Glorious

You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious